"What Do I Really Want?" — The Power of Mindful Self-Inquiry

In the flow of daily life, we often move through life and our routines without much thought, running on auto-pilot as habits and actions take over. But how often do we stop and ask, “Is this what I truly want to be doing? & What do I really want instead?” You might be surprised to find out—this simple question can serve as a powerful guide, reconnecting you to the core of who you are and what you truly desire.

Becoming Mindful of Your True Desires

Imagine taking a moment in your day—just a few seconds—to ask yourself, “What do I want right now? Do I really want to be doing this exact thing?” If the answer is yes, that’s fantastic. Keep going, fully embrace that action, and know that it aligns with your deeper self.

However, if the answer is no, allow yourself a moment of loving curiosity. Ask yourself, “What do I want to do instead?” This simple practice of questioning brings awareness to our choices and actions. It gives us the opportunity to redirect ourselves toward choices that resonate more deeply with who we are.

Take Note of Discomfort, Frustration, or Overwhelm

Take note—you may find this inquiry particularly useful in moments when you feel discomfort, frustration, or a hint of overwhelm. These feelings are often signals that something within you is out of alignment and needs attention. In these moments, asking the questions—"Do I want to do this?" and "What do I really want?"—can be most effective. These inquiries offer a powerful opportunity to realign with your true desires and shift toward choices that better serve you, creating space for clarity and purposeful action.

Breaking Free from Auto-Pilot

Many of us operate on autopilot, driven by deep-rooted beliefs, patterns, and habits that have been ingrained in us since childhood—or even earlier. These patterns were formed as protective mechanisms, ways of coping with the world to feel safe, accepted, or loved. For example, in relationships or jobs, we might act in certain ways because we want to be liked, to be seen, or to avoid conflict. But when these old patterns run unchecked, they can lead us away from our authentic path.

The realization that we’ve been acting out of habit rather than choice is not something to fear or criticize ourselves for. Instead, it’s an opportunity to gently note it with curiosity and compassion. Acknowledge it, understand it, and explore it.

Approaching Self-Inquiry with Loving Curiosity

Approaching this process with loving curiosity is key. When you notice that you’re doing something out of habit or fear rather than true desire, resist the urge to judge yourself. It’s okay that it happened; what’s important is that you’re now becoming aware of it. Ask yourself, “What belief or need might be driving this behavior? Is it still serving me, or is it time to let it go?”

When we bring non-judgmental awareness to these moments, we create space for transformation. It’s like shining a light on a dark corner of our mind that we didn’t even know existed. And in that light, we can see new possibilities and paths that align more authentically with who we are today.

The Simple Power of Asking, “What Do I Want?”

So, start incorporating this practice into your life. Occasionally pause and ask yourself, “What do I want?” If you find that you want to be doing something different than what you are currently doing, see if there’s a way to make that shift. And if not immediately, consider small steps that could move you in that direction.

It’s also worthwhile to explore why you were doing something different in the first place. What limiting belief or old pattern might be attached to it? Perhaps it’s a belief that you’re not good enough, or that you must always please others to be accepted. Simply become aware of that belief with a sense of openness and curiosity.

Moving Forward Without Over-Analyzing

In these moments of self-inquiry, avoid getting stuck in over-analysis. Instead, after you’ve explored a bit, ask yourself, “Okay, and now what?” This simple question can prevent you from spiraling into overthinking and help you focus on the next step. Remember, the goal is not to dissect every action but to bring gentle awareness to them and steer them in the direction that feels right for you.

Opening Up to Deeper Understanding

This inner inquiry can open up new portals within you, creating a deeper understanding of who you are, what you do, and what you truly want. By building this awareness practice into your daily life, you nudge yourself back onto your own path, aligning more closely with your authentic self.

So, next time you find yourself caught in the busy-ness of life, take a breath. Pause and ask, “What do I really want?” You might be surprised by the answers that emerge—and how they can lead you toward a life filled with more purpose, joy, and alignment.

Much love, Thomas